I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
