What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
