I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
