I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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