I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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