when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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