His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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