I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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