If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
