I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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