She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
