You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize