Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
