What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
