sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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