i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
