i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Too much gin, very little bucket
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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