Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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