I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
