i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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