so explain again why im purple
no
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
