he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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