Don't you send me to vm
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
