if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
