just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
