Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
