you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
