Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
