yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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