sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
