dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
