I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
