its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
