On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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