Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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