Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
