She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
