we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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