Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
