capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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