I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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