its not stalking. its research.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
