And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
