so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
