so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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