In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
