Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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