every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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