I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
