We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
